Whiteangel33

- Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

- Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.

- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

- One of life's mysteries is how a bottle of whiskey can make a girl gain five pounds.

- There is a skinny little creature inside me trying to get out, but I can usually sedate her with a few pieces of chocolate.

- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

- She took an IQ test and the results were negative.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it!

- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

- Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?

- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.